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A Student’s Satire: Seeing Through Technology (?)

February 27, 2018

Last week, my senior English students wrote satires.

The satire featured in this post offers a powerful message regarding modern dependence upon technology. I offer it to my readers compliments of its author, Alexis.

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Narrator: Jane drags her son Billy down the sidewalk; they’re on their way to the Apple store.

Billy: Mom, I’m going to be late for school!

Jane: Billy, shut up! You have your whole life to go to school. Now walk faster before they run out of the iPhone 20!

Narrator: Jane and Billy continue walking but are stopped by a salesman.

Salesman: Hey guys! How’s it going? You got a second?

Jane: No, not really… I need to go get the iPhone 20.

Salesman: iPhone 20? Who needs the iPhone 20 when you can get the iSee!

Jane: The iSee?

Salesman: The iSee! It’s a small chip inserted behind your ear and that lets you see whatever you want whenever you want! Why go to an actual beach when you can look at a HD quality picture of one! you can stay in bed all day and ignore your children and your responsibilities! You can stay in bed and just See!

Jane: I can look at whatever I want?

Salesman: Whatever your brain desires, and the best part is… you don’t even need your eyes! We’ll take them out for free!

Jane: You’ll take my eyes out… for free?

Salesman: Yes, ma’am. You’ll never have to see anything you don’t want to see again! So, if the world turns to chaos, you won’t even know! Little Billy here wouldn’t even have to go to school anymore; Billy can just lay in bed and See class while eating pizza!

Billy: Mom, I love pizza!

Jane: Me, too! We’ll take two!

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Want to read about the history of charter schools and vouchers?

School Choice: The End of Public Education? 

school choice cover  (Click image to enlarge)

Schneider is a southern Louisiana native, career teacher, trained researcher, and author of two other books: A Chronicle of Echoes: Who’s Who In the Implosion of American Public Education and Common Core Dilemma: Who Owns Our Schools?. You should buy these books. They’re great. No, really.

both books

Don’t care to buy from Amazon? Purchase my books from Powell’s City of Books instead.

One Comment
  1. The philosopher Robert Nozick came up with a thought experiment called “The Experience Machine” that is very like this little story. Nozick’s version: If you could enter into a machine where you would experience absolute bliss for the rest of your life, would you do so? Most people would say, “no.” Nozick came up with this to illustrate his contention that there are some things that are more important to people than even happiness is. But the real test would be to ask someone AFTER or WHILE he or she is experiencing life in the machine. LOL. A strong argument can be made that the real answer to the Fermi Paradox is that any culture with sufficiently advanced technology will have developed hedonic technologies to such a point that they aren’t interested in anything else.

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